Yesterday was my mom’s birthday. I have spent a lot of time talking about my
dad and what an amazing influence he has been on my life, but I really feel
like I need to take this time to give my mom some credit as well. After all, I am half of her and half of my
dad, so she is an enormous part of who I am today. My mom grew up in Southern California. Most people who think of Southern California
think of palm trees and movie stars.
Well, that’s not exactly how it used to be. My mom grew up in a small town called
Castaic. Her mother’s side of the family was Basque (Spanish Sheepherders) and
owned and operated a large brickyard and ranch.
My grandma was an avid rider and excellent cowgirl. My grandpa’s side of the family was from
Laguna Beach originally and moved to Castaic later on. My grandpa was a cowboy and his family built
a roping arena and started the Castaic Saddle Club. Celebrities such as James Caan roped there
regularly. Grandpa met and fell in love
with grandma…and here we are! So, like
my dad, my mom grew up on horses in a western upbringing.
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| My mom (maybe 25 yrs old)...Look at lil me on top of the truck! :) |
My mom moved to Sierra Valley when she was 20 years old to
live with my grandpa who owned a house and some property there.
It was shortly after that she met my dad and
two years later, something epic happened…I was BORN!
My mom and my dad were pretty much exactly
alike.
Both were extremely hard-headed
and stubborn, passionate, smart, funny, and very strong willed.
But, they were too much alike.
While their love for each other was as deep
as the oceans, they had a really hard time getting along.
It didn’t help that my dad was alcoholic and
pretty darn tough to get along with for a long time...and my mom had problems
of her own.
They were pretty young when
they met, got married, and had me.
By
the time I was five years old, they had decided to call it quits.
By that time, my grandma (mom’s side) had
moved just down the street from my dad’s house.
My mom had taken a job as a trail guide in a town about an hour and half
away, so I lived with her and my aunts and uncles for several years.
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| Mom and me at Disneyland |
Growing up, I couldn’t understand things, and it took me a
long time to forgive both of my parents for leaving me at my grandma’s
house.
Don’t get me wrong…I did not have
a bad upbringing at all.
I grew up in a
huge family with a ton of people who loved me more than anything in the world. I
was the baby of the entire family and quite frankly, I was pretty spoiled.
Not materialistically, but spoiled with love
and affection.
However, despite the
constant love from many, I couldn’t understand why my parents couldn’t make
things work…why we had to be divided.
I
later learned that after my mom and dad had split, she had become involved with
someone who hurt her both physically and emotionally.
She wasn’t with me because she couldn’t be,
not because she didn’t want to be.
Eventually, my mom came home. Things were not always easy. She was a single mom trying to raise a very
independent daughter. My dad, though I
loved him more than words could ever express, had no idea how to raise a little
girl so I rarely spent more than a week with him at a time. My mom did everything she could to keep food
on the table and me in the best clothes. Often times she worked two jobs. When I was around 13 or 14 years old, she
took a job as a welder and became a journeyman for the union…an industry where
you don’t see a whole lot of women. Not
only was she a woman welder, but she was an exceptionally talented woman
welder. Eventually it took a toll on her
and her health really started to deteriorate.
By the time I was in my early 20’s, she had developed osteoporosis to
the point where she was breaking bones regularly. Eventually, she was put on permanent
disability due to her condition.
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| Thanksgiving 2012 |
I knew my mom was very ill for some time, but I was unaware
of just how ill she really was.
A year
and half ago, I received a call from my aunt saying that she had been
hospitalized. It was the day before my dad’s memorial team roping.
I hustled home, not knowing what exactly had
happened.
When I got to the hospital, I
found her completely unrecognizable and totally incoherent.
It was then that I realized that I may lose
my mom as well.
I have never been so
scared in my entire life.
I had already
had to bury one parent.
How was I
supposed to make it through life without both?
So many things ran through my mind that weekend.
I had a million regrets.
I regretted being such a bratty
daughter.
I regretted the millions of
fights that we’d had.
I regretted
spending so much time grieving over one parent and not appreciating the parent
that I had left.
My mom was my rock my
entire life.
She was there for me when
not another soul was around.
I could
always rely on her to be on my side no matter how wrong I might be.
She pissed me off a lot and we struggled not
to fight and argue most of the time, but the only reason it was like that was
because we were exactly alike…just like her and my dad!
My mom pulled out of her illness. She took all the necessary steps to leading a
healthy lifestyle and now she is feeling better than ever. It hasn’t always been rainbows and puppy dogs
for me and her, but I wouldn’t trade her for any other mother in the
world! My dad may have been Superman in
my eyes, but my mom blew Wonder Woman out of the water. My mom is Xena, Wonder Woman, Catwoman,
Barbie, and Mrs. Ingalls all wrapped into one.
Words cannot express how thankful I am to have her in my life and how
much I appreciate every single sacrifice she has ever made for me. She may have made some mistakes, but everyone
does. I’ve said it before and I’ll say
it again, there is and was only one perfect being and that is Christ our
savior. Every single living, breathing
creature on this planet was created in his image and is therefore perfect in
their own way. If my mom wouldn’t have
gone through the struggles that she did, I would not be the woman that I am
today. I have learned a lot from
her. I have received all of her best
traits and maybe a few of her worst ones!
Either way, I am the product of both of my parents. I am hard-working, honest to a fault,
independent as hell, tough as nails, stubborn as bulldog, relentless, outgoing,
loving, caring, intelligent, street smart…and I never give up. When I hear that I can’t do something, I
prove that I can. It’s hard to prove me
wrong even when I know you’re right. If
I believe in something, I believe in it with all my heart. I put 100% of myself into everything that I
do, so when something doesn’t go as planned, I’m usually extremely
disappointed. Every single one of these
traits are ones that I got from BOTH of my parents.
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| September 2012 |
I sit around and think about them both all of the time.
Neither one of them ever remarried.
Perhaps they were the loves of each others
lives.
Or maybe we are all just so
stubborn and hard-headed that no one can live with us for too awful long.
I’m praying that last part isn’t true or I’m
doomed for sure!
Either way, I am so
proud to be a product of both of them.
As I continue on this journey to not only make it to the Reno Rodeo
All-Girl this year but also do well while I’m there, I am constantly reminded
that I am doing this because of them.
My
dad first put that rope in my hand and gave me the drive and passion to
compete.
My mom gave me constant support
and has been my biggest fan in every single thing I do in life.
Both of them taught me to never quit, even
when the chips are down.
And to be successful
in life you better make like a bulldogger…grab life by the horns, wrestle it to
the ground, and make it your bitch!
God
has a plan for all of us, but that doesn’t mean that we sit around idly and
wait for good things to happen.
We have
to be proactive and continue to have faith (which is sometimes a lot harder
than actually PHYSICALLY doing something!).
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| Love my Mommy |
I used to get a daily devotional on my phone but when I got
my new phone, I forgot to download the app.
My friend text me today and told me that I needed to read it because it
reminded her of me and several of the situations that her and I have both faced
or are currently facing.
Philippians
4:19 says, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs
from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Jesus Christ.”
Do you look towards luck or superstition to
have an impact on your circumstances?
Don’t
you want more than a random act of chance of good fortune?
God has a purpose in our lives and everything
happens for a reason.
It’s always to
draw your heart closer to Him.
Work on
uncrossing your fingers and instead say a prayer.
There’s more power in purpose than random
chance!
With that being said, I end today’s post with a huge hug and
happy birthday to my beautiful mom! I
love you more than I can even put into words (and I am pretty good at putting
things into words…so trust me when I say, I love you A LOT)! I am so thankful to have you in my life and I
miss you all the time! Thank you for
being a continuous light in my life and supporting me in every crazy thing that
I do! Hugs and kisses from afar! Love, Lacey
ugsH
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