Is This Bronc Riding or Team Roping?

It was Thanksgiving weekend.  I was feeling very thankful…thankful for all the blessings I have in my life including my ability to own and rope on nice horses.  So why the heck have my horses been sitting for a month and a half with nobody riding them?  I have been going to the chiropractor now for about a month and I was finally starting to feel better.  After a fun night out in Fort Worth, I decided I would wake up and go rope at a little, local jackpot on Sunday.  Because I haven’t been on Kid Rock in over a month and I know how he is, I got up nice and early and saddled him.  Then I went in and showered and ate breakfast and watched the news.  I finally mustered up the nerve to go out and lope him for a while.  I knew I had better lope him down really well before taking him to a jackpot.  He was liable to lawn dart my butt if I just climbed on, rode in the box, said a prayer, and nodded.  After about a good 30 or 40 minute lope job, I loaded him in the trailer, and off we went! 

I started getting a little nervous as I quickly approached Bar B Arena.  What was I thinking!?  I haven’t practiced in months and I haven’t even been on my horse in just as long.  I was still recovering from the last time Kid Rock and I had a little wreck.  Another one like it and I could really be in rough shape!  I am getting entirely too old for this crap!  But, I was already in the parking lot so I might as well treat it like a practice and go have some fun.

First warning should have been when I saw that they raised the entry fees from $60 to $75.  But I entered anyway.  Second warning, they drew me an extra heading run.  I’m now up to $100.  Yeah…I need to probably win my fees back.  I back in the box on my first steer.  My nerves are a little tight, but I’m trying to stay relaxed.  Relaxed rider equals relaxed nag.  I call for my steer and he’s basically a miserable piece of crap, to say the least.  He breaks slow, he runs hard, he runs left, he runs right…I’m just running behind him trying to get a shot with no luck what-so-ever.  First steer and I don’t even get to throw my rope.  Awesome.  I apologize to my heeler.  That was pretty embarrassing, but I’m just glad that I didn’t get bucked off! 

My second steer wasn’t much better than my first, but I roped him and waved it off.  This was turning out to be a spectacular day for me!  Oh, but it gets worse…much worse! 

I call for my third steer.  I break the barrier but I turn him, and my heeler snags a leg.  18.5…not good, but it’s a time and in this roping, 3 down equals money.  My fourth steer is where things went wrong.  I nod my head.  My horse gets out perfect.  I throw my rope.  The steer stops.  I grab a quick dally.  I look back and see I have one horn.  I start to undally.  My horse starts bucking.  And bucking.  And bucking.  I am riding him.  I am trying to pull up his head and get undallied all at the same time.  Pretty soon, I feel myself starting to hang off the side.  I know I can pull myself in the saddle if I could just get rid of this friggin’ rope!!  Too late, I know I’m going down.  I think to myself, “This isn’t too bad.  I’m not going to hit hard.”  I held onto the reins as I hit the dirt on the left side of my mid-back.  Thank God, I didn’t land on my head again!  I didn’t even tweak my neck!  Although I am livid pissed, I am ok.  I think about being really mad at my horse, but he is just standing there looking at me.  He may be an asshole, but he’s not an idiot so I still don’t dislike him.  I get up and instantly feel pain in my back on that left side.  Cracked ribs?  Yep…probably.  I gather myself up and dust myself off.  To belly kick him or not to belly kick him?  That is the question.  Everyone is looking.  Eff it…I belly kick him one time.  He doesn’t even flinch and I feel like even more of a jack ass.  A few people ride up and ask me if I’m ok and I let them know I am.  I may be a little sore, but I am far from too hurt to finish roping.  Besides, I have one down and that’s my only chance at money today.  “Get it together,” I tell myself.  I ride out of the arena away from everyone and give Kid Rock a quick Come-To-Jesus pep talk (better known as an ass whippin’ for all you horse people).

I back in the box to rope my second round steer.  My horse works amazing and we have a clean run.  We are sitting low in the high teams, but I am well aware that the short round typically falls apart at this roping.  Sure enough, the five teams sitting ahead of me miss.  I go out and rope my steer and my heeler snags another leg.  One more team to go.  If they miss, I win the money and the buckle.  What are the odds of that happening?  Get bucked off and then come back to win the same roping?!  Ha!  Just my luck, the last team misses.  I win the roping after being bucked off, breaking out, and having my heeler rope two legs!  Call me Lady Luck! 

It just goes to show you that everyone has bad days.  Sometimes, it’s not just about your skill, but also your luck.  I easily could have ridden out of that arena not just empty handed, but also hurt pretty badly.  But, I kept a positive attitude and had faith in myself and in God, and once again, it proved to be the right thing to do.  God always has your back.  As long as you believe in Him and pray to Him often, He will take care of you.  You have to BELIEVE that He has your best interest at heart.  You have to BELIEVE that HE WILL NOT FORSAKE YOU!  I have stepped up in my ability this year as a roper.  I have taken on a horse that is not as easy as a few of the horses that I have had in the past, but he is a much higher caliber horse.  And although he tests me from time to time, I have won more on him in the short time that I have had him than I have on any other horse.  I don’t know why he does the things he does.  I have had a lot of people say, “There’s too many good horses out there to ride a bad one!”  Well, maybe I’m crazy.  Maybe he will hurt me so bad that I can’t ride anymore.  Hell, maybe he’ll kill me.  But every time you climb on horse, you take that chance.  Every time you get in a car, you take that chance.  Every time you cross the street, you take that chance!  That doesn’t mean you quit doing it!  Obviously, I love a challenge.  Kid Rock is not malicious or stupid.  He is just quirky.  He doesn’t buck super hard and he doesn’t do it continuously.  It’s just once in a while. 

So, I’ll continue to take my chances with my quirky horse because although he sometimes puts me on the “Injured” list, I still love the silly booger.  You have to listen to your own heart.  And that goes for anything in life.  It’s ok to take advice from others, but at the end of the day, you just have to pray about it and make up your own mind.

Roper Girl updates:

I will be going home for Christmas this year.  It will be my first holiday home in 2 years!  I fully intend on enjoying every second possible with my family and friends (not horseback!).

It is confirmed that I will be roping in the Reno Rodeo All Girl this year with Erin Marie Jasper.  We were supposed to rope last year, but unforeseen circumstances made that impossible.  We are fully prepared to enter up and kick butt this year.

I am very sad that I was unable to attend the World Series and NFR in Vegas this year.  I am hoping that if I rope anywhere near as good in 2015 as I did this last year, I will qualify for the World Series and have the opportunity to rope for more money than I have ever dreamed of! 

I intend on hauling Kid Rock out for the All Girl and continuing to rope on Solo as a practice and small jackpot horse.  I would like to start breakaway roping and even heeling on Solo next year.  My idea is to haul Kid Rock out in June and leave him with some friends for a couple of months.  I will then be able to fly out for certain ropings such as Taylorsville over the 4th and my dad's roping in August and not take any days off of work and not have to haul my horse out every time.  This will give me an opportunity to actually ride my own horse at these ropings versus borrowing a horse every time. 

Getting bucked off may have been the best thing for me.  I don't know if it was the combination of months of chiropractic work and hitting the ground just right or what, but after the pain from initially hitting the ground subsided, I felt like a million bucks.  My chiropractor and I both are surprised that I no longer feel any back or neck pain at all since I hit the ground that day.  When I went in for my appointment yesterday, we both were shocked at how easily my back popped and moved (something that we had struggled with for well over a month of appointments!).  Blessings happen in ways that we would never ever expect!

Thank you to all of my avid readers!  Without your support, none of this would be possible!  I am so blessed!

Roper fast, my friends, and have a blessed day!   

We All Need a Little "Adjusting"

I have probably written and re-written this blog post about 5 times now.  It never fails…sometimes, you know you have an amazing message to share, but no matter how hard you try, the words just don’t come out right.  So just for shits and giggles, let’s call this attempt number six.

For starters, I haven’t been roping much since I won my saddle.  I kept telling myself it was because I had worked so hard all year long and now that I FINALLY won something, it was ok to take a break.  I told myself that…and I even believed it for a while.  But then I got an offer to go spin a few for some friends one Sunday.  First of all, that day did not start out well at all.  I was told (on the way to church) that I was a very negative person, I’m extremely opinionated, and all I do is bitch all the time.  Considering it was someone that I care about very much telling me this, it was the equivalent of having  Madison Bumgarner throw a brick at my face (how ‘bout that guy, by the way!  If you watched the World Series at all, you know exactly who he is and I just want to point out that he is THE man!)…it hurt like hell, and quite frankly, it pissed me off a great deal.  I spent that day mostly in silence, reflecting and reminding myself of his words over and over and over again.  “Am I really that negative?  DO I really bitch all the time?”  I know I’m opinionated as all get out, so no need to ask myself that question.  I chalk it up to unbridled passion.  People often mistake passion for opinionated…that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!  Anyway, so we went roping.  I wasn’t roping bad, but I wasn’t really roping good either.  To be real honest, I wasn’t feeling well at all.  This has been going on for quite some time now.  Every time I get on a horse, I get shaky and dizzy, my skin gets clammy, I feel nauseous, my head hurts like hell, I feel weak…it literally feels like my body is shutting down.  I would rope a few and then get off, sit down, and drink water but nothing seems to ever make it go away. 

 

As my avid readers all know, over the 4^th of July I bought a new horse and the day I bought him, he and I had a little wreck.  I didn’t think much of it at the time, but I am pretty sure my negligence is what led to me feeling the way I am feeling now.  The night after my wreck, I was dizzy and disoriented.  I had a pretty bad case of the spins and it wasn’t from one too many beers.  Like an idiot, I went to sleep that night as I normally would.  The next day, I was very dizzy, I had a severe headache, I blacked out a few times, and I was pretty sick to my stomach.  Again, I am a fool and I didn’t go to the hospital.  My thoughts were that if I went to the hospital, they would tell me I had a concussion (tell me something I don’t already know) and then they would tell me I couldn’t rope for a while.  Well, I drove all the way to California to rope and I wasn’t about to sit in the bleachers and watch!  Sometimes I’m not the brightest bulb on the tree and I’m more stubborn than rogue bull being pushed out of a field of heifers.  Don’t worry, I’m not a complete ding dong…I sat out from roping ONE WHOLE DAY!! 

Well, I guess one day wasn’t enough.  I noticed the shaky, dizzy, nauseous feeling when I roped long before I ever won my saddle.  But I think I was so ambitious for a win that I kept pushing it to the back of my mind and toughing it out.  After I won, it was easy for me to come up with an excuse why I didn’t want to rope.  I’m burned out…I’ve been working hard…I finally won.  But that’s all they were…EXCUSES.  The truth is I just haven’t been feeling good.  I never would have admitted it to myself if it weren’t for my roommate pointing it out to me.

You see, after being called negative and not feeling good all day, I was pretty dang emotional when I got home.  Ashley has seen me cry a handful of times, but I was wrecked pretty much all weekend so she knew something was up.  After talking me through several different things, she straight up asked me, “…and why don’t you want to rope anymore!?  You always want to rope.  I understand that you are tired from work, but that has never stopped you before!”  It was a slap in the face.  I had to examine myself to see what was really going on.  It was only then that I admitted out loud that I hadn’t been feeling good.  Everyone else could see it…I was just too stubborn to admit it.

Last weekend, I had my friend, Elizabeth, over to work on my horses.  Elizabeth is an amazing equine chiropractor and massage therapist, so if you are in the north Texas area and your horse needs a little work, holler at me and I’ll hook you up!  Anyway, I called her over because Kid Rock had started bucking again and it was obvious that his back was hurting him.  As she was working on him, she told me that because he was out of whack for so long, the slightest jerk can put him back out (to where his back is used to being) very easily, therefore he needs consistent adjusting.  That got me thinking…first of all, it had become pretty clear to me that I have been out of whack both emotionally and physically lately.  I needed some “adjusting” in both areas.  I got one pretty good emotional adjustment by having it brought to my attention how negative and opinionated I am!  But more than that, I get my consistent adjusting through Christ (you only thought I wasn’t going to bring Him up, didn’t you!?).  While having my negative attributes brought to my attention was enough to get me thinking, it was the tears that I shed while hitting my knees in prayer that night that really opened my eyes to the kind of person that I want to be.  I prayed for answers, for help, and most of all for the STRENGTH to truly give my problems to God and thoroughly trust Him in every, single aspect of my life.  For a control freak like me, that is NOT an easy task. 

 

The next morning, I woke up with swollen eyes and a broken heart.  The fact that I had something going on with me physically and no real answers as to what it could be, filled me with fear.  “Give it to God…Give it to God,” I told myself over and over again.  The first thing I did was make a doctor appointment and the second thing I did was make a chiropractor appointment.  It’s now been a week and I have visited both.  My doctor is concerned about several different things (which I won’t get into until I have more answers.  No sense in speculating until I have real results).  My chiropractor on the other hand…well, this is a long list, so try to keep up!  My C1 vertebra is rotated to the right and tilted down on the right side, my C2 to the left and up on the right side, and my C3 to the right and down on the right side.  I have a condition called “cervical hypolordosis”, which means the spine in my neck is straight as an arrow.  This causes severe tension headaches and increases my risk for injury (I should probably end my career as a bronc rider).  My lower back, from my T10 to my S1, is all shifted to the right (scoliosis) and the vertebrae are all rotated to the right.  Finally, my right hip sits slightly higher than my left.  Therefore, I am a jacked up mess in the “back” department!  But according to my chiropractor, with quite a bit of adjusting and massage, and a lot of stretching and exercise, I should be able to fix most of it.  That doesn’t explain all the symptoms I’ve been experiencing, but it explains some and there is hope for me to feel better…so I’ll take it!  I plan on taking a few weeks off from roping, just light riding, and hopefully, I will come back stronger than ever very soon!

These are not my actual x-rays, but this is what my spine kinda looks like!  OUCH!

So, what is the moral of the story?  Good question!  A bible verse suddenly just came to mind, which tells me that God has put it on my heart to share it with you.  Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  We have to ask for things sometimes.  We have to seek out the answers and then they will be provided to us.  It requires a lot of prayer, and even more importantly, a lot of paying attention, being still with the Lord, and LISTENING to what He is trying to tell you.  If I didn’t listen to what the Lord was telling me and kept on playing tough with my health, who knows what kind of mess I would have gotten myself into.  But, I prayed on it, and I did something about it, and now I am finally getting answers and hopefully will be as onery and feisty as ever (and back to taking your money at the jackpots), in no time at all!

I want to share one more story with you guys before I check out for the night.  God has a funny way of doing things.  The other night, my roommate and I went down to church for College and Careers night.  It’s basically a time of worship and bible study for young adults…and it doesn’t hurt that they give us a delicious free meal either!  Well, there is a young lady that goes there every Monday.  She is also a member of the choir on Sundays.  Now I, being a fairly new Christian, just automatically assume that most people who go to church on Sunday, and certainly most people who are really active in the church, have their crap together when it comes to God.  I never imagined that a sorry little sinner like myself would be able to offer anything up in the faith department to a lifelong, God-fearing Christian woman.  However, that night, Ashley and I left church and headed to Walmart to get a blender.  I know what you’re thinking…it was not intended for margaritas!!  Anyway, so as we are walking through Walmart, this young lady from church approaches us and we start to visit.  It wasn’t long before we realized that she had a lot going on in her life and she was really struggling with a lot of things.  Low and behold, we ministered to her right there in the middle of Walmart.  We talked about the love of God and Jesus right there in the middle of the Halloween aisle at 10 o’clock at night!  But the most important part about this whole story is that I was telling her the exact same things that I had to tell myself just a few nights before!  “Be still in the Lord.   Listen to what He is trying to tell you.  Quit trying to control every aspect of your life when all He wants is for you to trust Him!”  I don’t know if we made her feel any better…I pray that we did…but I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing it felt to speak love and protection over this girl, right there, for all the world to see!  We are SO BLESSED to be able to worship freely in this country!  We SO take that for granted!  So, with that being said, I just want to say, don’t think that just because you haven’t been studying the bible your whole life that you can’t minister and be a light to others!  You don’t have to know every story or know every verse to speak love and life on others!  It is an amazing feeling and I encourage each and every one of you to give it a try sometime.  It will blow your mind how great it feels to talk about the love of Jesus!  I used to laugh at people who would say, “Jesus is my drug”…but seriously, Jesus is like crack for my soul!  Can I say that?  Eh, I just did.  And I meant it.  I have never felt a high like when I talk about the love of God! 

Dang!  See, just that little spiel got me so excited!  I’m all wound up now!  I just want to give a lot of love to anyone that reads this blog.  I know that I am pretty long winded sometimes, but I really love sharing my stories, thoughts, and adventures with you guys.  The positive feedback that I get just leaves me feeling so blessed that God gave me this gift of BS!  Hopefully someday, He will call me to write a book!  Please note:  I have partnered up with another amazing woman of God and extremely talented writer and singer!  Her name is Bobbi LeAnn and you can follow her blog, Ridin' On Faith, at http://bobbileann.blogspot.com/  I also would like to give another shoutout to my amazing equine chiropractor, Elizabeth, at Casa de Equissage http://casadeequissage.com/   Have a blessed evening, friends, and until next time, God bless you!  

What Dreams May Come

Well, I kept saying it would, I kept faith that it would, and it finally did…I WON!  As some of you know, this last week I turned 30 years old.  From the day I turned 29 up until about 3 weeks ago, I was absolutely dreading turning 30.  I kept telling myself, “You aren’t married.  You don’t have kids.  You still live your life like you’re 25…what the heck have you accomplished?”  And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I have accomplished a lot!  I have traveled a lot.  I have done a lot of different jobs.  I have an education.  I own my own home.  I run a ranch.  I have become a fairly good horsewoman.  I have grown significantly in my faith (something I am extremely proud of).  I have survived a serious car accident, the death of my dad, my mom’s illness…I have moved halfway across the country to a place where I knew very few people and I have made friends and started a whole new life for myself.  I have a great job that makes me a decent living.  And I am extremely blessed to say that I own two amazing horses that would kill themselves for me if I asked them to.  30 isn’t something to fear!  As a matter of fact, I think my 30’s may be my best years ever!

Happy Birthday, Dad!

So anyway, I turned 30 on Thursday and my dad’s birthday would have been Friday.  Let’s just say, birthdays since he passed away haven’t always been happy.  They are actually quite hard.  Every year, the ACTRA state finals takes place on the weekend of our birthdays, so we always spent our birthdays together.  When he died, that was one of the toughest things for me to get through.  I’ve told you all the story of how I won my saddle many times.  I won it in Winnemucca on the 20^th of September in 2002.  When JT and I roped our final steer clean, my dad was banging on the side of the trailer, hooting and hollering…he was so proud of me.  It is my fondest memory that I have of him.

Since my birthday was on Thursday, we decided to have my 30^th birthday celebration (a small, intimate cookout at my house) on Friday.  I’m sure a few of you have lost parents or loved ones, so you know what I mean when I say that there are certain days where you feel like a volcano just waiting to erupt.  You don’t know when the meltdown is going to happen and you pray and pray that it won’t, but you know it’s just a matter of time before it does.  Sure enough, halfway through the night while playing a game, I snapped.  It was like I had no control of my anger and I took it out on someone who absolutely did not deserve it at all.  I felt like such a jerk.  After I cooled down, I apologized and everything was let go and we had fun.  But I still had that feeling inside of me.  When the party died down and there were only a couple of us left, I snuck off to my bathroom and had a little breakdown.  There were so many thoughts going through my head and I felt that same heart wrenching pain I feel every year. I miss him so much that sometimes it feels like I’m dying.   I let myself have a few minutes to cry, I washed my face, and decided to go back out to be with my friends.  As I came out of my bathroom, I realized my friend and team roping partner, Jason, was standing in the door of my bedroom. 

“Are you ok?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I replied.

“No, you aren’t.” he said, and he pulled me in close for one of his famous, comforting, safe, bear hugs.  He too has lost his dad and he knows and understands what I’m going through.  It felt good to not have to pretend.  I let myself say out loud the things that were going on in my head because I knew that he would get it.  I have another friend who recently lost her dad.  Not only has she lost her dad, but just days before her dad (who she was extremely close to) passed away, she also had a late-pregnancy miscarriage.  Needless to say, her life has been hell lately.  But I have been seeing on her Facebook a lot that she has been having dreams of her dad.  He comes to her and tells her that everything is ok.  And though I am so happy for her that she has that, I can’t help but be extremely jealous.  I have only had one or two dreams of my dad since he passed away eight years ago.  There are times where I would give anything to talk to him again.  And I always crave it and pray for it this time of year. 

Jason and me.  First steer in the #7

As we sat on my bed and talked, I told Jason how badly I wished I could have a dream where I could speak to my dad just one more time.  I want to know if he is watching over me.  I want to know that I’m making him proud.  I would give almost anything to hear his laugh again and hear him tell me he loves me, he’s proud of me, and everything is ok.  That’s when he told me that sometimes that’s not what we need.  And even if I got it, wouldn’t I crave it even more?  He was right.  I probably would.

That night I went to sleep relieved that I have someone in my life who really understands what I am going through.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of friends who have been through what I have, but I don’t have anyone close by and I am not one to seek out others when I’m feeling down.  I’m the kind of person who has to be forced to admit I’m upset before I actually start talking about things like my feelings.  I’d rather run and hide, then let it out and talk about it.  When I woke up the next morning, I was surprised that my eyes were crusty like I had been crying in my sleep.  I couldn’t recall having any dreams and I slept like a baby so I chalked it up to my never-ending allergies.  We all got up and got dressed and got ready for the roping. 

Kid Rock...maybe too much personality for one horse!

As you all know, I bought a new horse over the 4^th of July.  While I rope really well on him in practice, I am far from confident on him in competition.  As a matter of fact, I have pretty much been a choke artist at jackpots lately on BOTH horses.  And, if I do rope my butt off, I still can’t win!  I’ve just been really unlucky when it comes to ropings lately.  A couple of weekends ago, I roped in Dallas and while I roped outstanding, there was one steer that set up really hard and I was pretty sure that I had hurt Solo badly.  At one point, he acted like he was tying up, so I got off and uncinched him and he stretched way out and rocked back and forth.  Whatever he did must have worked because his back isn’t sore to the touch, but I made up my mind then and there that I needed to start jackpotting on Kid Rock.  He is a bigger horse and much stronger and he can take a hit and pull anything.  So, I took him out to a little jackpot last Sunday and I missed 3 out 4 steers.  Trust me when I say, it was not my horses fault.  I literally just choked on him.  I was nervous and packing my rope down the pen instead of being aggressive and swinging coming out of the box.  I couldn’t figure out what my problem was, but I was seriously disgusted with myself and I decided that I had better rope on Solo again at the Fire It Up roping this weekend.  Stick with what works!  I needed to be on the horse that I trusted and was confident on if I wanted to pull a check!

But something happened that night while I was asleep.  Maybe Dad did come to me in a dream finally and I just couldn’t remember it.  Perhaps I couldn’t remember it because he wanted to make sure that I woke up rested.  Maybe it was God telling me what to do.  Or maybe it was both of them.  I really don’t know.  But I do know this, when I walked out of the house to catch horses, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I needed to ride Kid Rock.  I have never been more sure of anything in my life.  When I told Jason that I was riding Kid Rock instead of Solo, he got a pretty shocked look on his face.  He knows how much I have been struggling with this.  And he knows how upset I was with my lack in confidence on the horse that I bought who was supposed to be taking me to that pay window.  But I really had no doubts at all this time.  I couldn’t even believe how sure I was.  I was riding Kid Rock and it was going to be my day.

James and me. 30th High Call in the #7

 I entered one time in the #7 which was a pick one, draw two.  Jason was my pick and I drew two other guys.  There was only one brief second where I doubted my decision to ride Kid Rock instead of Solo and that was right before I rode into the box to rope my first steer.  I looked over at Solo and thought, “Am I making a huge mistake?”  Then I reminded myself to trust my gut, trust my dad, and trust God.  I had that gut feeling for a reason.  I had to let go of my insecurities and go out there and rope like I knew I could.  I roped my first and second steers for my draw partners and I was pretty sure I had made the short round with both.  Then Jason and I roped.  My horse had been working awesome.  I had already stuck 4 steers with no problems and my confidence was high.  I called for my steer and my horse broke perfect.  I took two swings and roped the heck out of him.  Jason took his first shot and hammered two feet.  We were a mid 7.  The second pen wasn’t quite as pretty but we had another clean run at a long 8 seconds.  At that point, we were 3^rd high call.  I had now roped 6 steers in row, clean around the horns.  High teams rolled around and one of my runs got bumped.  I was 30^th high call with one partner and 3^rd high call with Jason.  I came out and hammered my 30^th high call steer and my partner missed.  I shook it off.  All Jason and I had to do was catch and we were in the money.  As we were riding in the box, I heard the announcer say we had to be a short 10 to win first and I knew there was a wolfy kid sitting in the 2^nd and 1^st high call teams.  It was going to take a miracle to win 1st, but all we had to do was rope better than the next two teams.  I backed in the box and called for my steer.  We got out perfect.  I took three swings and threw a little bigger loop than normal, roping him around the neck.  There was no way in hell I was going to miss that steer!  We went left pretty hard and I realized Jason was quite a ways behind me…I thought that was strange because he usually likes those handles where I don’t poodle them across the pen.  As it turns out, his horse cheated him and set up on the corner and he had to kick him up to get set up again.  He came around and my heart sank as he dropped a coil and threw a Hail Mary.  The steer kicked the loop around and the rope came tight.  My horse spun around to face and to my surprise, he somehow, someway, had two!  We were 9 and half…CLEAN!  We were now sitting 1^st with two teams left to rope.

When we got to the catch pen, I turned to Jason and said, “I freaking LOVE you right now!!!”  I had no idea how that all came together, but it did.  Maybe it was my dad…maybe it was his dad…maybe it was God…maybe it was all three!  I didn’t care!  I thanked them all.  2^nd high call came out and the header missed.  One team to go.  They came out and the header had to fish his head loop on.  That wolfy little kid came around and hammered two feet.  The flag dropped.  They needed to be a long 10 seconds to beat us.  The clock stopped at 11 and half!  We WON!!  We won, we won, we won!!!   I was so happy!  There aren’t words to explain how happy and thankful I was!  Everyone was hugging me and shaking my hand and congratulating me!  It wasn’t like I’d won a fortune, but everyone was so stoked for me and I could not stop smiling!  Jason and I hugged and jumped up and down!  It was a little ridiculous, but you can’t beat how elated we were.  

Me and Jason with our new saddles!

I know my dad was watching.  I know he was smiling and celebrating right along with me.  I couldn’t hear him banging on the side of the trailer, but I know without a doubt that he was.  Nothing could be more special to me.  I won my second saddle exactly 12 years to the day that I won my first saddle.  When I needed my dad more than anything, he showed me that he was there by helping me to relive one of the best days of my life.  At the end of the day, I won a saddle, $1132 cash; I roped 11 steers in a row, never broke out once, and ended up turning 12 out 14 steers total all day.  And, Jason won his very first saddle!  I really did rope my butt off and I deserved to feel proud.  But more than just being proud of myself, I was extremely proud of my horse.  Did I feel a little guilty that I didn’t get a win on Solo?  Yes, absolutely.  He and I have worked so hard together and we still haven’t pulled a check.  But I still love him and I still am confident in him.  We will win eventually.  I am just so extremely thankful to have these two amazing animals in my life.   

Kid Rock earned this saddle!  It's his now!

It’s so funny because every time I felt guilty for not riding Solo, I kept having this feeling like that was why I had been crying in my dream.  I don’t remember what I dreamed or even if I did, but I just have this gut feeling that dad was telling me not to ride Solo…that he couldn’t handle those steers…that I needed to give myself a better chance to win and ride my new horse…that I had nothing to be afraid of…that it was going to be ok!  But more than anything (and I have no idea how to explain this), I felt like my dad was asking me, “Who are you doing this for?  Me or you?”  He was telling me, “Do it for you!  Go out and rope on the horse that you can win on!  Stop feeling guilty because Solo is not perfect!  He got you back in the game and you’ll always have him!  I’m so proud of how far you have come, so don’t beat yourself up.  Just go out there and win for yourself!  You deserve this.”  I really wish I could explain why I have these feelings.  It was like I had a dream, but I don’t remember it…but I FEEL it!  I felt my dad’s presence almost stronger than I EVER have before!  I might not have remembered him telling me those things in my dream, but I can darn sure feel them almost as if he was speaking them right into my ear.  And, it’s a great reminder of the relationship I had with him.  All those things that I wanted to feel and hear from my dad actually happened.  I am great with words, but I have no words to describe how amazing that feels.  I feel like my heart is bursting with love right now. 

The Lord truly works in mysterious ways.  He gives you what you need, when you need it.  You just have to trust Him and have faith that His plan is so much greater than your own.  Everything that has happened to me has led up to this moment.  All the blood, sweat, and tears that I have poured into this lifestyle finally reaped a reward.  Psalms 20:4 says “May He grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.”  God is full of love and if you love Him back, there is nothing He won’t do for you.  I truly believe that. 

My "Dirty 30" cookies made to look like my Dad's Memorial TR buckles!

I want to thank everyone who has stood beside me in this journey.  I want to give a huge shout out to my roommate, Ashley, for being one of my biggest supporters.  She comes to my practices and jackpots, cheers me on, films my runs, drags the sled around, and is the best “roping wife” a girl could ask for.  Thank you to Jason for being a great friend and for catching three steers by two feet!  “I FREAKING LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW!”  A big thank you to Be Clean 15:3 for hooking me up with some sweet hats and apparel.  Thank you to Elizabeth Scott at Casa de Equissage for keeping my horses feeling great.  Thank you to my friend, Tess, for being a constant support and cheerleader (and for the coolest birthday cookies EVER!).  Thanks to my mom for listening to all of my bitching and moaning when things don’t go my way and for being so excited that you actually cried when I told you about my big win.  I love you so much and miss you more than you know!  Thank you to my dad for being there when I needed your guidance most.  The ultimate thanks to God for never letting me down and being the one thing that I can ALWAYS trust and rely on.  And finally, thank you so much to all of you readers!  Your support has inspired me to keep going when I’ve felt like quitting. You guys have been with me through this whole journey and I am so incredibly blessed for that.  Please, continue to share this blog with your friends and family and continue reading.  May God be with each and every one of you no matter what your passion is in life!