Fearless Failure, Sweet Success

 Ricky (2006-2012; Colic)

The weather really hasn’t been great the last few days.  While I pray for rain as we are suffering a horrendous drought, it does nothing for the fact that I’m trying to have this horse and myself ready for the Reno Rodeo All-Girl by the end of June.  I was really hoping today would be slightly sunny so that I could head over to the cowboy church and rope a few this afternoon.  However, as I sit here in Starbucks enjoying this lovely, $5 cup of coffee, I can see that the clouds are steadily rolling in.  I don’t mind riding in the cold, but I’m pretty sure that nobody will be roping today.

 

My mind has been racing like crazy since I’ve been cooped up.  All I can think about is applying the training that I have been doing on the ground and on the sled to live cattle.  I am so anxious to see where my horse and I are at so that I can focus on what really needs work from here on out.  I have to keep telling myself that I have time.  God is on my side.  But it can be really hard to stay positive when you are sitting stagnant. 

 

Smoky (2001-2008; Broken Leg)

 

A couple of nights ago, I received a phone call about another possible job opportunity.  After hearing minimal details, it not only sounds like a job that I could be extremely successful at, but also one that would allow me to set my own schedule.  It would be the kind of job where, not only could I afford to rope a lot more, but I’d actually have the time.  In my opinion, that is the definition of a dream job!

 

Which brings me to today’s topic: dream jobs and the meaning of life.  They say if you are doing what you love for a living, you never work a day in your life.  I believe this.  I have done a lot of things for work that I love.  I was a Brand Inspector for a while and I couldn’t wait to get up in the mornings to go look at cattle.  I was a sales rep and service technician for a cattle supplement company for a long time and it was very rare that I didn’t truly enjoy my job.  I’ve ridden a lot of horses and chased a lot of cows…it gets old after a while, but I still love it.  But the cold, hard truth is that I wasn’t really MAKING A LIVING doing those things…I was just getting by.  I have known in my heart of hearts for a long time that there is something else that I am meant to be doing.  There is something else that will fulfill me in a way that I’ll know that I am exactly where I need to be. 

Feeding Registered Black Angus Cattle, 2011

 

I see people that are very close to me who are struggling.  They want something more for their lives but they don’t know how to get it.  I just so happen to be a very controlling and demanding person when it comes to my dreams.  I believe that being fearless and seizing opportunities are the keys to success.  I also believe that great things never became of those who play it safe.  You have to take risks in life if you want to get what you desire and deserve!  I have had a lot of people lately tell me that they admire my adventurous spirit.  For the longest time I really didn’t understand why they would say that to me.  Now, when I look at those around me, I see what they mean.  People like to be comfortable.  They like reliable.  They would rather stay safe in their comfort zone than take a risk.  But tell me this: how do you know if you are good at the game if you only watch from the sidelines?  If you really want something, sometimes you have to go out on a limb and take a risk.  There was a man who failed in business at age 21.  He was defeated in a legislative race at age 22.  He failed yet again at business at age 24.  He overcame the death of his fiancé at age 26.  He had a nervous breakdown at age 27.  He lost a congressional race at age 34.  He failed to become Vice President at age 47.  He lost a senatorial race at age 49.  And, at age 52, he was elected President of the United States and became one of the most prominent figures in our great nation.  That man was Abraham Lincoln.  He refused to let his failures define him and fought against significant odds to achieve greatness!  With all that being said, what are you waiting for?  If you want something, you can’t sit around waiting for someone to hand it to you!  You have to get your butt out there and make it happen!

 

Last night, I had a long telephone conversation with a dear friend.  I was telling him about what I am doing with this blog, as he has not had a chance to sit down and read it yet.  What started out as a simple documentation of my journey to get to the Reno Rodeo All-Girl, has turned into almost a motivational and inspirational quest to help other’s achieve their goals as well.  He then went on to tell me that he believes that God has given him a gift (he is an excellent horse trainer as well as an outstanding team roper).  Over the years, he has realized that he gets the greatest satisfaction not from training a nice horse or winning a big roping, but motivating and teaching others by sharing his gift with them.  He then went on to say, “Perhaps, that is the meaning of life.” 

 

Wow!  I never thought of it that way!  We are all given gifts individually.  Some of us are amazing cooks.  Some of us have the gift of verbal and written communication.  Some of us are gifted with enormous creativity.  Some of us are great athletes.  But maybe the meaning of life isn’t to hold on to those gifts for our own selfish reasons, but to share those gifts and use them to inspire and help others!  Sure sounds good to me!  1 Peter 4:10 says, “As each of us has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”  So, what is your gift?  How do you tend to use it to serve one another?

 

I close today with a quote from one of my favorite athletes, Michael Jordan.  “I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career.  I have lost almost 300 games.  On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the winning shot, and I missed.  I have failed over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed.”  Be brave.  Be courageous.  Don’t be afraid of failure.  Because, without failure, we would not know success.   

Cold Weather and Warm Hearts

Ashley "weighing down" the sled

It’s so easy to get distracted by life and forget what your goals are sometimes.  The last few days have been a little like that for me.  But it seems like this goal that I’ve set for myself is one that I am meant to achieve.  Every time I start to get distracted, something or someone brings me right back down to earth and reminds me about what I have set out to accomplish.  We are in the process of moving in our new roommate.  It is always a little awkward having someone new in the house and takes some adjustment time.  And it really doesn’t help that we’ve all been a little cooped up together for the last few days.  There are too many dogs and too many people in the house and it’s just too darned cold outside to be out there for too long!

 

After one day of sitting in the house, we started getting bored.  My roommate, Ashley, and I have a tendency to get a little weird when we start catching that cabin fever.  I asked her if she could come out and take some photos of me dragging the sled around so that I could share them here on my blog.  Well, one thing led to another and the next thing you know, she’s riding the sled while I pulled it around the field at a lope!  I’m sure my neighbors and anyone driving by really got a kick out of it and I’m sure my new roommate is now positive that we are insane.  My point here is not to tell you that we are crazy, but simply that doing work doesn’t always have to feel like a chore.  It may have looked like we were screwing off, but at the end of the day, we got a lot accomplished.  She was able to get some good pictures and video of me riding my horse, and with her on the sled, my horse got to experience what it was like to pull a little extra (noisy, giggly)  weight around.  When I was done riding, we both grabbed ropes and roped the dummy for a while.  I don’t consider myself a coach, but I was able to help her with a few problems that she was having when it came to her swing and delivery.  We laughed a lot and I truly enjoyed my daily training session.

 

I also ran into my neighbor while loping my horse that day.  After a brief conversation, I was invited over to come rope their Heel-o-Matic with them as well as turn some steers for them once they got cattle (finally!!!).  We talked for a while and I offered to go in on cattle with them when the weather turned warmer, if they were interested.  Not only did I find a new place to rope (that I could ride my horse to), but they were also possibly interested in one of my pups.  It was far from a wasted day! 

 

Sunday was very cold and frozen. I went out and loped my horse and did just a few logging drills on him before calling it a day. By Monday, I had pipes frozen everywhere and my other obligations took me away from training for the day.  I really lost momentum.  As I have previously stated, when I lose momentum, I start to doubt myself.  As I was sitting here thinking about if I was still doing the right thing, I got a call from a guy who offered to fix my four wheeler for me.  He told me a story of how growing up he always had support from amazing people and how it was always his goal to pay it forward.  He had told me that he has family who rope and train rope horses and he knows how valuable of a tool the sled can be when training a new horse.  Yesterday afternoon, he drove two hours to come and pick up my four wheeler and get it running for me.  The kindness of others never ceases to amaze me.  Here is a man who doesn’t know me from Adam, and he is willing to put time and money into something simply for the pure joy of helping another human being.  I can’t thank God enough for the unselfish hearts that he has blessed some people with. 

 

Sunday night I received a message on Facebook from a girl who has been following this blog.  She started her message by asking me to “please keep writing”.  She then told me that her story and mine are very much alike.  She was injured several years ago and was left unable to rope.  After years of rehabilitation, she is now ready to pick up that rope again.  But, like me, she doesn’t have the luxury of going out and buying a high dollar horse that will take her to the pay window.  She has a five year old mare that came off of her uncle’s cattle ranch that she will be finishing out herself.  She told me that my story has been inspiring her and motivating her to achieve her goal of roping again and that she believes that lack of money or a well-trained horse is no longer an excuse anymore.  If you want it, you can achieve it!  Kelsey, if you are reading this, I truly hope to see you at a roping very soon!  It is not just my goals, my perseverance, and my faith that keeps me motivated, but also stories like hers that instill that fire in my soul. 

 

As I have said many times, I often feel silly writing this blog.  I am trying be as humble as possible and not come across as cocky or a know-it-all.  I am the kind of person who truly believes that you can never stop learning.  I have been to different roping schools, worked with different trainers, and listened to a lot of cattlemen and horsemen.  I try to take a little piece of knowledge from everyone.  The way that I do things may not be the right way, but I am always willing to listen to and learn new ideas.  In this blog, I am simply sharing ideas about the things that I do and have done to help me be successful.  It is never a matter of doing things the right way or the wrong way.  My stories are not meant to teach anyone how to do anything…simply just to inspire them that if you have a goal and you set your mind to it, if you BELIEVE in yourself, your dreams can be your reality!



Taking the 4-wheeler to get it running again!

 

My dad, while often hard on himself, was my biggest supporter.  There wasn’t a thing on this earth that he thought I couldn’t achieve.  He literally taught me how to believe in myself, simply by believing in me.  When he passed away, I lost a lot of confidence.  I turned to alcohol and wasted a lot of time in bars chasing boys and trying to forget who I was. In my mind, I didn’t have him around to be proud of me anymore.  I didn’t have him to support me.  I completely lost my sense of pride and my self-confidence went right down the toilet.  I truly hit rock bottom.  It was his guidance and voice that urged me to pick up a rope again and remember who I was.  I had been saving money for a long time, so I went out and bought a little mare.  She was nothing to look at and, quite frankly, she kind of had a bad attitude.  However, when I backed her in the box, she never failed to give me 110%.  It was that little boost of confidence that started me back down the right path.  It’s really easy to let negativity destroy you.  That’s what the Devil does.  He finds you when you are weak in your faith and he preys on you.  He makes you feel inadequate and worthless and drowns you in your own negativity.  But no matter the mistakes you’ve made, you have to remember that the Lord so gave His only son for one reason and one reason only…to cleanse you of your sins.  I know I am far from perfect.  To this day, I still like to drink one too many beers, and I have a mouth that could make a trucker blush.  But I don’t let those things affect me negatively anymore.  I ask for forgiveness at the end of every day and know that my heart and faith are the things that really matter.  And every day that I do this, I am reminded that “I can’t” is NOT an option.  That is the Devil talking, because the good Lord knows that I CAN!

"Lucky Peaches" and I turning one at a jackpot

 

Today I leave you with this thought, “Be FEARLESS, have FAITH, and ROPE YOUR DREAMS!”     

 

 

I encourage you all to please keep reading as every day brings forth a new adventure!  I will continue to share my stories both new and old and continue to document my progress as I shoot for my goal of attending and WINNING the Reno Rodeo All-Girl!  If you are interested in reading more about this roping, you can find information at http://www.onedayonemillion.com.  You can also follow me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/ropergirlsjourney.   

 
 
 
 

Unbridled Dreams and Perfect Practices

Uncertainty can be so scary.  But tell me this…is anything in life truly certain?  I’m sure according to God’s plan, our life’s path is, in fact, certain.  But as far as we know as human beings, nothing is certain.  We don’t know where life is going to take us.  No matter how hard you try to map out your life, God will throw a wrench in there from time to time to keep you on His path.  I am a firm believer that God created my heart.  All the feelings and dreams that are in my heart, are ones that He put there.  I came to the decision to risk it all and move out here because of the free spirit and courage that He blessed me with.  I came to the decision to quit my job and pursue my dreams because of the determination and drive that He gave to me upon my creation.  I truly believe that God urges us to do things and to be who He created us to be.  Whether the things we are doing are a mistakes made to teach us a lesson of some sort or a means to fulfill our destiny, we will never know.  But I do know this…you never know how deep the water is until you jump.  Maybe you break your legs trying.  But then again, maybe you survive and find that a wondrous world has been awaiting you to just gain that courage to be free from the restraints that your fear of the unknown has placed on you.

 

I took the day off from both writing and training yesterday.  I have to say, while it was much needed, I think it was probably a mistake.  Whenever I lose momentum, I have a tendency to let my doubts start to boil up.  Am I making a huge mistake?  What happens if I go broke?  How am I going to pay this bill or that bill?  But every time I start to have those doubts, God answers back with something positive.  I finally found a second roommate yesterday.  I opened my heart and my mind to the idea of having someone in the house who wasn’t just like me or my previous roommates.  After my other housemate and me met up with this person and did sort of an interview, we both felt that HE was a great candidate and would be a great addition to our home.  So, God pulled through once again.  As of next week, I won’t be spending everything I have to pay rent and bills.  It was immediate relief and it was just that sign I needed telling me that what I am doing is okay!  I really felt like it was His way of telling me to not give up on this dream that I have and these goals that I have set for myself. 

 

So, since part of this blog is to serve as inspiration and the other part is to document my progress, I guess I should probably tell you what I have been up to the last few days!  Thursday morning didn’t quite kick off like I had expected it to.  Technology was most definitely not on my side.  I took my trip to town to sit at Starbucks and submit my last post (“Leather Reflections”).  If you are wondering why I travel 15 minutes to town every morning to take advantage of “free” wifi and drink $4 coffee, it is because until I started working on this project, I really didn’t need internet at my house.  However, it is something that I will be looking into very soon…$4 coffee makes me want to puke.  So there I was, sipping on the tastiest $4 peppermint mocha shot I’ve ever tasted, and my computer decides it’s going to “act up”.  I couldn’t get online, my article wouldn’t post, and I couldn’t get pictures to load…typical.  After much frustration, I finally accomplished my goal.  I drove back home, ate lunch, and tried to decide how I wanted to spend the rest of my day.

 



I have been spending a lot of time on my horse.  We have loped what feels like a million miles.  I have logged that roping sled around my neighbor’s hay field for hours.  But I really haven’t spent a lot of time working on myself.  I decided it was time to bust out the roping dummy.  When I was little and I really wanted to rope like my daddy, he used to tell me that when I could rope the dummy 100 times in a row consistently without missing, he would let me start chasing cattle horseback.  I used to rope the dummy every single day. When I was in high school and college, that's what we used to do for fun.  I can remember sitting up all night when I was in college, drinking beer with my buddies and roping the dummy until the sun came up.  And it wasn’t boring.  We actually really enjoyed it.  Now, looking back, I realize that when I was spending my time roping the dummy for fun, I roped better than ever!  I think we want to compete and win so badly sometimes that we turn practice into a chore.  It really doesn’t have to be. 

Thursday afternoon, I cranked up the tunes on stereo and decided to play HORSE.  All by myself.  Perfect practices are the key to success...think Daniel Green taught me that.  Anyone can go out and toss the rope around, but it’s what you put into your practices that make them effective.  That’s not to say you can’t have fun doing it.  I believe that if you challenge yourself…punish yourself for mistakes made (push-ups, sit-ups, run laps for missing) and reward yourself for a job well done (drink a beer!), it'll be more beneficial to you in the long run.  I like to play HORSE when I rope the dummy.  Every time you miss, you get a letter (first miss earns you an "H', second miss earns you an "O" and so on).  If you miss enough times to spell out HORSE than you lose.  If you play with one or more people, the object of the game is to be the last one standing…if you spell HORSE, you’re out (they play this in basketball a lot).  However, to play alone, I try to rope the dummy 100, 200, or 500 times in a row.  If I miss, I get a letter.  If I spell HORSE before reaching my goal, I start over.  Trust me, when you are roping to 500, you don’t want to miss!  Since I hadn’t picked up my rope and roped the dummy in a while, I decided to just rope to 100.  The only letter I earned was an “H”, so I was pretty satisfied.  When I rope the dummy, I really try to challenge myself.  I’ll try to throw my rope after one swing, or I’ll change it up and swing three times.  I move around a lot.  Sometimes I’ll try to rope really close to the dummy, other times I try to throw a little farther than I’m comfortable with.  I’ll also move myself to different positions on the side of the dummy, roping from close to his side to farther away and even straight behind it or to the right of it.  I don’t like to stand in one spot when I rope the dummy because unless you are riding a FANTASTIC horse and the cattle all run exactly the same, you are not going to be roping from the same spot every time.  You need to able to rope consistently from all angles and distances if you want to win. 

Building a loop

The swing

 





The delivery (notice how I am reaching)

The catch

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I finished up on the dummy, I decided to go ahead and exercise my horse.  I pulled him out of his stall, brushed him, and saddled him up.  There is something about having the day to yourself to decide what you want to do that is so satisfying.  There are a million little honey-do’s that I’ve been “meaning” to get done for about a year now.  One was to take the rawhide covered stirrups off of my saddle and replace them with a set of Monels that were on my old ranch saddle.  Since I had the time, I went ahead and got that done.  I like the rawhide stirrups on my saddle, but the Monels are a little heavier and not quite as deep.  They just fit better and are slightly more comfortable in my opinion.  I climbed on and Solo and I made our typical trip around the neighbor’s hay field…twice around in the right lead, twice around in the left lead, and once around at a walk to cool him down.  I then logged the sled around for a while.  I am noticing a lot of improvement in the way that he is handling the sled.  He is really starting to quarter out well and although sometimes he is a little lazy, when I ask him to, he is facing really fast and hard (Note: Facing is the part of the run where your horse spins around to face the steer which, in most ropings, signals the flagger to drop the flag and stop the clock) .  I feel like a lot of people don’t put a lot of value on a horse’s facing ability.  I am a firm believer that a horse that faces fast can shear some time off of the flag.  You want to have a horse that is well rounded in all areas and that takes constant work!  That includes being solid in the box, scoring well, running hard, handling cattle well, and being able to face hard and keep that rope tight for a flag.     

Roping the sled

 

 

Box work on a young horse

The “dry work” (work off of cattle) has been really effective, but I am now ready to get Solo in the arena and get him behind some steers.  If we don’t get any rain in the next few days and the weather stays nice, I may be able to get somewhere to practice this next week.  I’m excited for the progress that we’ve been making and the progress that we’ll continue to make as long as I stay motivated and positive!  God puts ideas in our heads for a reason…I’m so ready to make this dream come true!   

Leather Reflections

First off, I want to start by telling everyone who has supported me in this adventure, thank you so much!  I have had a lot of people contact me telling me that I’m inspiring them to set and achieve goals and that makes my heart smile!  Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with a good friend from back home.  We spent an entire afternoon talking and catching up over steaks and beers.  Although I didn’t get any time in on my horse, it wasn’t a wasted day.  We spent a lot of time reflecting on the past and it brought up some very fond memories.  I drove home last night with joyful soul.

 

Saddle won in 2002, #4 roping with JT Tapia

One memory in particular stuck in my head.  It’s a memory that I think of very often…every time I put my butt in the saddle.  Throughout my roping career, I have won quite a bit of money.  It’s always nice to take a trip to the pay window.  However, I’ve never won many prizes.  The first buckle I won was at our local buckle roping when I was maybe 16. It was a steer stopping buckle.  It sits next to my rodeo queen buckle in a case at my mom’s house…that’s where the buckles that I’m not all that proud of reside.  She’s proud of them, so she can display them I suppose.  I guess, now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve really only won one other buckle and I roped my ass off to win it!  But my fondest memory of winning any prize was the day I won my saddle.

 

I was 18 years old and a freshman in college.  I had been living in the dorms at school and I was incredibly broke! Somehow I had managed to get in all my qualifiers for the ACTRA (American Cowboy’s Team Roping Association) Nevada/Idaho State Finals and I hitched a ride with my rodeo coach to the scenic metropolis of Winnemucca, Nevada.  The ACTRA State finals is always a very special roping to me.  It always falls on both my dad’s and my birthday (his was September 19^th and mine is the 18^th). Dad and I had been hitting the finals for at least 5 years together.  I was a little bummed that year because I had to ride up with my coach instead of doing all my traveling with my dad, but the second we pulled into the Winnemucca Fair Grounds, I jumped on my horse and took off to find him.  Some people have fancy living quarter’s trailers to sleep in and others opt for a hotel room…well, dad and I, we camped in the stock trailer.  He made his comfy bed up in the nose of the gooseneck and I was forced to throw down a sleeping bag on some bales of hay.  Since I pretty much have some of the worst allergies ever, you can imagine what I felt like every morning when I woke up.  My eyes were typically swollen and itchy, I sneezed my head off, and if I could breathe through my nose at all, it was a miracle!  But despite “roughing it”, I loved it.

 

I had hell that year.  If you’ve ever roped, you know that when you really need to win, you usually can’t catch your ass with both hands.  That was exactly what was going on.  I’ll never forget how positive my dad was.  “Don’t worry about it!  Just go out there and rope!  Have fun and stop worrying about money!”  I had always paid my own fees so winning was crucial for me.  By the time that the #4 roping rolled around on the last day, I had blown all my money and hadn’t won a dime.  I had 3 good partners lined up for the #4.  When I woke up that morning, I just felt good.  My first partner was my friend, JT.  He and I have always roped well together.  He was one hell of a stick and could hammer two on the switch better than anyone I knew.  Our first three steers were awesome.  We were clean on all three and ended up high call in the short round.  Basically, all we had to do was make a clean run and that win belonged to us. 

 

As I backed in the header’s box and set my horse, I looked down at our steer.  My heart immediately sank.  He was a white steer.  His horns, instead of standing up on his head like a normal roping steer, were flat and pointed out in front of his head and down towards his eyes.  Team roping, especially for low numbered ropers, is a lot of muscle memory.  Consistent runs are made on even pens of cattle.  When you throw in a rogue, it kind of trips up your game a little bit…especially to someone who is an amateur roper, like myself. 

 

 

 

 

Non-typical, forward and downward facing horns

Typical type roping cattle horns

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I felt my nerves starting to fizzle.  My adrenaline got going.  My heart was beating so hard that I thought it would beat right out of my throat.  I needed to win.  I couldn’t afford to miss another one and go home empty handed.  JT gave me a smile.  I knew he was ready.  I checked that the steer was standing straight in the chute and nodded my head.  When the head gate clanked open, he hung up just slightly.  My horse stood like a rock, and then the steer bolted out.  He was a runner, but my horse covered him up right away and I was in excellent position.  I was really focusing on those horns…I had to catch, I had to catch.  I took two swings and just as I was about to release, my rope hit JT’s!  I can’t tell you how that loop went clean around the horns so pretty, but it darn sure did.  JT came around the corner in perfect position and grabbed two on the first hop.  My horse spun to a face and the flag dropped.

 

Our high team run, ACTRA Nevada/Idaho State Finals 2002

It was at that moment that I knew we had won!  No one could catch us.  My dad was parked up on a little hill above the arena.  I could hear him yelling and banging on the side of the trailer.  Everyone was hooting and hollering and cheering for us!  I realized that I had been holding my breath the entire time and also that we both were still dallied!  Neither one of us could believe that we did it!  We both let go of our ropes, huge smiles on our faces, and ran our horses at each other embracing in a bear hug right there in the middle of the arena.  We rode out of there beaming.  It was the best feeling that I’ve ever had while roping. 

Another run that day with Bud Price

 

I went on to place third in that roping as well with JT’s dad, Dan.  It ended up being a great day and one that will live on in my memory until the day I leave this earth.  When it was all said and done, I had over tripled the money that I had come with.  But the thing that I will never forget about that day was how proud my dad was of me.  I’ll never forget seeing him up there on that hill banging on the side of the trailer, throwing his fist in the air, and that huge smile that he had on his face…it was pure joy. 

 

That saddle sat in my house for years.  I never rode it until my dad passed away.  Now, every time I put my foot in the stirrup and swing up onto it, I remember his smile and how proud he was of me.  Every time I rope in that saddle, I am inspired to just kick ass.  Every time I back in the box, I let out a breath and remember his words, “Just relax.  Go out there and ROPE!  Just have fun!”  Every time I throw that saddle on my dad’s horse and climb aboard, I feel that much closer to him. 

 

God blesses us in so many ways.  Sometimes, we don’t realize it at the time, but after a while, we reflect and realize how truly lucky we are.  Some of the greatest memories of my life are ones that I’ve made at ropings.  I know that I will make a million more memories doing what I love and I look forward to each and every one of them.  Someday, when I am old and have “taken up the rocking chair”, I will look back on the good old days with no regrets knowing that once upon a time, I LIVED.

Trimming the Fat in 2014

Motivation.  What motivates you to go do the things you love?  I know that this morning, the first day of the year, I woke up completely unmotivated.  I spent the last day of 2013 horseback.  I hauled my horse out to a friend’s house and we rode around the ranch for a while.  I’m not going to say it was my greatest day of riding…at one point I had thrown my rope on the ground and my horse, who can be a bit spooky, whirled out from underneath of me and I damn near took a dirt nap.  But somehow, I spider-monkeyed up and stayed aboard.  I have to admit, I was slightly embarrassed.  Here’s this horse that I intend on hauling to Reno in six months and I can’t even throw my rope on the ground without him blowing up.  I chalk it up to him being fresh.  The cold, hard truth is that he needs to be ridden and ridden hard every day and he needs to be good and warmed up before I try to teach him anything. 

 

After getting mad and floating his teeth for a while, I finally got him where I wanted him to be.  I’m not saying it was the right way of doing things, but let’s face it, sometimes it gets the job done.  This horse isn’t a colt.  He is eleven years old and he knows better than to act like that.  So, what should have been the end of his day, turned out to be just the beginning.  I do not reward bad behavior with my animals…be they horses, dogs, or boyfriends!  The rest of the day went well.  I hauled my horse home and we logged the sled for a while.  It’s an exercise that he’s never fond of at first, but once he realizes that the sled isn’t going to come up the rope and hook him, he takes to it really well.  I have a four wheeler to pull the sled, but it isn’t running and even if it were, there is rarely anyone around to pull it for me.  So, most of the time I just work on a series of logging exercises.

 

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this term, logging is when you dally up to something and drag it around. It could be a railroad tie, the roping sled, or anything that will slide across the ground fairly easy and won’t hang up.   It not only builds your horses strength, but it gives them confidence and helps them to be more comfortable pulling something around behind them.  A lot of people think that this is just an exercise to use on colts, but I have found that it works great on older, finished horses as well.  It is a great tool for teaching a horse pull well while moving off of your feet.  You can teach them to quarter out and really get a horse facing well.  I am a firm believer that if you do these kinds of exercises on your horse (even your good ones) regularly, it keeps their minds sound and their bodies in great shape.  Plus, it is an easy way to work on your horse if you don’t have an arena, cattle, or someone to drive the gosh darned sled!

 

All in all, yesterday was productive.  But as I said earlier, today I started out completely unmotivated.  Last night, after ringing in the New Year completely sober (sorry, not sorry) and driving my roommate home, I decided to see how everyone else’s New Year’s was treating them by trolling around on Facebook.  The first story I see is that my most recent ex is now engaged.  Every ounce of my being knows that he and I were no good for each other.  Despite the fact that we got along pretty well and the greatest thing we had in common was that we both LOVED to rope, there were a lot of issues between us.  The biggest issue being that I was not ready and, in my heart of hearts, I know that he wasn’t either.  Sometimes two people can love each other completely, but still be totally wrong together.  That doesn’t mean that news of his new engagement wasn’t completely shocking and didn’t sting a little.  You devote everything you have to try to make things work with someone only to discover that you weren’t the one.  But that is a poor girl’s way of thinking.  He wasn’t the one either.  It’s a tough pill to swallow.  I don’t believe that anything is a waste of time, but sometimes I have a hard time shaking that feeling that I may never find that partner in crime that I long for.  I did the right thing…I congratulated him and wished him the best in his future, slapped on a happy face, and told myself to move on.

 

I had to really think and pray on things last night.  Waking up this morning, I am reminded about the goals that I had set for myself in 2014.  Finding a man was not one of them!  And pining over an ex that I know isn’t right for me isn’t one of them either!  Bettering myself in my passion (roping) is my goal for this year!  If love finds me, then I will welcome it with open arms…but I am not seeking it and I will not let my fear of being alone consume me any longer.  This year has been extremely tough for me.  I moved thousands of miles away from home only to realize that I didn’t fit in like I thought I would.  All year long, I have felt like an outsider, someone who was completely alone in a crowd.  I have finally realized that it is because something is missing in my life…MY PASSION!  Once I surround myself with a group of my roping peers, I will most likely no longer feel alone or out of place!  I don’t rope just because it’s cool or I look like a bad ass doing it…I rope because I love it and it’s the one thing that I have always had in my life that has kept me grounded.  It is a place where I fit in and when I am roping, I don’t feel alone. 

 

So I ask again, what is it that motivates you?  I know that I don’t have just one answer to that question.  There are a million things that motivate me!  Achieving the goals that I have set for myself is motivation.  Fitting in somewhere and making new friends is motivation.  Bettering myself at something that I love is motivation. Inspiring others to set and reach their goals is motivation.   And coming just a little bit farther in life than I was yesterday is motivation.  So, this year, find what motivates you and go for it!  Don’t let struggles and challenges stand in your way!  Remember that if it were EASY, everyone would do it!  The only thing that can hold you back from achieving your goals is YOU! 

 

Happy New Year’s everyone!  I wish you a prosperous and BLESSED year!

Undying Determination and Hardcore Hoop Dreams

Tomorrow marks the start of 2014.  A lot has happened in my life this last year.  I packed up everything I owned and took a huge chance by moving halfway across the country to a place where I knew very few people…all with the hopes of not just bettering myself, but really discovering who I am as a person.  I’ve been through a lot in my 29 years.  From watching alcoholism tear my family apart to a car accident in high school that could have taken my life to losing my dad and hero at a young age to watching my mom slowly deteriorate and nearly die.  But throughout it all, I have survived and thrived.  Looking back now, I really can’t tell you what I was looking for by moving out here, but I can tell you what I’ve learned.

 

I didn’t get a chance to ride my horse yesterday until late in the afternoon.  The sun was starting to go down over the horizon and it was beginning to feel pretty chilly.  But writing this blog is not something I’m doing because I think I’m a big deal…I’m doing it because it inspires me (and hopefully others) to get off my ass and do what I love because I love it!  I know just as well as anyone how hard it is when you get home from working all day to go saddle your horse and ride.  And I’m damn sure not trying to encourage everyone to run out and quit their jobs like I did!  But I feel like if I actually set a goal and achieve it, perhaps others will realize that they can do it too!  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not doing this for anyone but myself!  But I AM documenting it so that maybe, just maybe, someone may read it and realize that their dreams can be reality too.

 

So there I was, trying to get my time in on my horse before the sun went down, and I noticed my thoughts drifting towards everything I have accomplished and learned in 2013.  I don’t know about you, but when I am horseback, my mind is clear.  Annie Oakley said it best, “Any woman who does not enjoy tramping across the country on a clear, frosty morning with a good gun and a pair of dogs does not know how to enjoy life.”  While I wasn’t actually packing heat, it was late afternoon, and I wouldn’t necessarily consider my mutts “good dogs”, I get where she was going with that statement!  The first thing that came to my mind is, I did it!  I woke up one morning with a dream of leaving home and finding myself, away from everything that was comfortable to me, and that is exactly what I did.  I took a dream and I made it reality.  Was it everything I hoped for…well, no.  Not really.  In my dream, I would come out here and things would be really easy.  I hoped for an amazing job that I loved, maybe find me a man that could tolerate me, and I would rope ALL THE TIME!  That is not even close to what really transpired.  I came out here broke to death.  I spent all my money moving and had to borrow my first month’s rent money from my best friend.  That great job I wanted ended up being a waitressing job that I HATED where I was making $2.15 an hour and living off of tips that barely got me by.  Things really didn’t start out so slick.  But I stuck with it.  My “cowgirl determination” kept me hanging on.  Eventually a little better job came around, I got a couple of roommates that helped cover expenses, and I began to get back on my feet. 

 

But my dreams still haven’t come true out here in Texas.  My new job really kept me busy.  Anyone who has ever worked for a performance horse trainer knows exactly what I’m talking about.  After riding ten to fifteen horses a day, the last thing I wanted to do was come home and ride my own.  A year flew by and I realized I had been on my horse only a handful of times.  I was being a selfish horse owner by even keeping him!

 

 So what have I learned?  I have learned that the only one who can change your situation is you!  If you aren’t happy, then you have to do something about it.  I was working my life away for someone else and I wasn’t even enjoying life.  I was unable to even try to accomplish any of the goals that I had set for myself before moving out here (no matter how unrealistic they were) because I was overworked and underappreciated.  I can’t tell you how many times I prayed for guidance on what to do.  Perhaps God was giving me sign after sign and I just wasn’t seeing it.  But after a disagreement about something totally dismal with my boss, I took it as the sign I had been asking for and decided it was time to take my chances and move on. 

 

I have learned that you have to put your trust in God.  He will never steer you wrong.  Sometimes one door cannot open until another door is closed.  The day I quit my job, I went home, made a phone call, and got a job offer.  It’s not only a job that I am highly qualified for, but it is a job that will offer me all the things that I am looking for such as limited time restrains, opportunity to travel, and I’ll be doing something that I love and am familiar with.  Winning!

 

Another thing that I’ve learned since being out here is that no matter how hard you try, you can’t make people like you and the cold, hard truth is that if they don’t like you, it’s THEIR loss! I had one person repeatedly tell me that I care too much about what other people think about me.  I need to just be myself.  It donned on me finally…the fact that I care too much IS me being myself!  I am a people pleaser and that will never change.  And what is so wrong with that anyway?  Yes, I am putting myself at risk to get my feelings hurt.  But that is why God gave me such a huge a heart!  He makes you in His image and you are PERFECT just the way you are.  It’s not that I care so much what people think about me, I’ve never tried to be something that I’m not.  But I do care about making others happy and bringing joy into their lives.  Nothing wrong with that! 

 

I’m not exactly where I want to be in life right now, but I am exactly where I need to be.  I am on the right path to success and I am so excited for what is to come in 2014.  Last year I set some goals for myself and although things didn’t go exactly as planned, I survived.  I am now living 2500 miles away from home.  Home: a place where everyone knows me and loves me. Home:  a place where I am 100% comfortable and nothing is a surprise.  I wanted to discover who I was and better myself outside of my element and that is exactly what I did!  And since I accomplished my goals in 2013, I know I can do it again in 2014.  I WILL focus on the things that make me happy and I WILL, once again, have success.  It won’t be easy, but the best things never are.  The greatest challenges reap the greatest rewards. 

 

I end today with another quote I love from a famous cowgirl.  “There’s something about ranch life that you don’t give up.  Everything I ever did was for a ranch…I’ve been so hot I could have died.  I’ve been so cold I thought I’d freeze.  I’ve been so tired I thought I’d drop.  But you just go on…I don’t know that I have accomplished great things, but I haven’t been a failure.”  --Hallie Crawford Stillwell, Texas Rancher